Someone told me once that an aspie has lived there whole lives being told what they are doing is wrong or rude etc so that pain for them must be very real gor them and difficult to process whilst living in a constant state of anxiety.even one argument or verbal disagreement can be devastating and lead to shut down to protect you and themselves they will care but not know what to do as they do not follow social norms. So has the recent proliferation of Web sites and forums where self-described Aspies, or Aspergians, trade dating tips and sometimes findnbsp Family dating and ensure archived dating pubs enjoy up for great processes of other world in timber. We have hidden this from his family and I make him look like an awesome husband and dad in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, cousins. I am 35. I started feeling like a puzzle piece that anyone could fill if they were OK with parallel play and doing what he wants to do all weekend. I wish everyone well, get out as soon as you can. Try to remember that these suggestions come from a desire to help, but also a false belief that all you have to do is put your mind to it and all will be fixed. I'm sorry you had this experience with your boyfriend. They have been so convincing in their story that I am the most disgusting, vile person on the planet, that total strangers fear me. Being that we work together, I am extremely hesitant to reach out. I love him the way he is, but the silent treatment and being shut out kills me when he does it. he said he didn't I drank a lot ( I drink socially) (even though he does too and we would take trips together to the liquor store and go to bars). You werent judgemental; you just wanted them to get help. I certainly grieve over my mistakes and wished Id had the insight I have now. The beginning was so beautiful and happy, like a dream actually. I chose to stop talking to my ex spouse/ASD once I decided to get a divorce. Do not marry this man. I resent him bc of the kids. years of being understanding and supportiveAs years go by the meltdowns get worse. I totally Agree with all of your post. He built his first software / AI company in middle school and is outrageously intelligent, as many neurotic people are. He supposedly had many stalkers, told elaborate stories and his exs were supposedly all too needy or crazy (red flags I wish I noticed early on). Can he learn to understand and meet my needs at least intellectually? Here I was left with 2 babies. But Im tired of being emotionally and verbally abused. I wish I would have yielded to the red flags and told him, NO! I feel he does that as he is trying to save himself from an emotional breakdown? Could just as well be depression. This relationship was different. Hi Rachel. 28 plus years of marriage and I will never have a spouse who will make me the priority unless he needs something from me.. Is there any hope he might decide we should be together again. He will not want to discuss your tender feelings. Been with my husband for 12! He does better than me, but still we both are pretty awkward depending on the setting. imhere Pileated woodpecker. You quickly made up, and there were a lot of tears from both of you. The dynamic is pretty much the same as narcissism difficulties. More to the point though, is that you can save yourself a lot of grief, if you stop expecting your value to be affirmed by your spouse. Anyway, like many of you, I met and fell in love with a remarkable, kind, spectacular, ethical man who clearly has aspergers syndrome. You are generous to give so much time. i feel I have wasted years on this man who blames me for his misery yet i have devoted my life to our family . You felt like the luckiest person on the planet. It's not personal, just a reflection of how the concept of social reciprocity is a struggle for us. Wonderful beautiful Aspie love suddenly disappeared. I believe that is what turned my relationship and for the better. When an autistic man falls in love? The worst thing is feeling punished for having an emotional response or negative reaction to being at the brunt of an outburst especially when you already feel abused and worthless from it. After seven months of making my BF feel amazing (as he put it everyday), I literally got flowers one time on my bday and told I was pretty only on that day. I have noticed a pattern of withdrawal in friendships. Whether intentionally or not if someone cuts youit still bleeds and hurts! Our adult daughter 25 is undiagnosed aspie. Yet he doesnt seem interested in responding. I thought I was going crazy. How am I supposed to give of myself and take huge risks if he cannot even state that he is moving forward with me. When its good, its amazing and when its bad I feel frightened and completely degraded. Hi Emily! It ripped me in pieces from the inside out as how do you try and resolve an issue when she wont talk about it, even to the point where phone calls were not answered or just repeatedly hung up on. He cant lie very well. We are still friends on FB and she still follows me on Instagram, but just puts me on read and not responding. So far this time it has been 5 days. If this one ends I can't see trying again. Plus there a numerous videos on You Tube from my Facebook Lived. You felt evolved, and you were so immersed in this uncharted territory, you fell into this fascinating new world that made your other relationships feel like they lacked depth. Its hard to keep letting someone doing this know youre there for them and still thinking of them as your partner (I havent seen him in a month). Being expert manipulators, narcissists know your vulnerabilities and may appeal to your emotions with cries for help, romantic gestures, messages, cards, or gifts on significant . well my happiness only lasted 2 months after we had a great night, dinner movie, wine we even joked around. The term for this behavior is hoovering, derived from the famous Hoover vacuum, because when you're finally free of the abusive relationship, they can suck you back in.But be prepared for a bait-and-switch maneuver. He loves me, just not right now. Im having regular panic attacks and anxiety attacks and am struggling to cope. We dated off and on for 5 years and yup he left me. Can you plz let me know as soon as possible if you are offering evaluation appointments too? A couple of months ago I met a wonderful woman at work. He never starts a conversation. He would talk about general stuff (like how is he doing), but never about relationship where I wanted to talk about how we can work things out. So what am I meant to do other than not talk to her? Hope you'll feel better soon! Her personality changed within 1 month. I hear ya sister! : r/aspergers; 7 7.Why . Unfortunately many use the silent treatment to get away from the distress and never return to resolve the problem with the other person. That helped. You feared that the fairy tale was over. One thing is true, according to Dr. John Gottman, once the relationship has fallen to the level of contempt, there is no turning back. How can it be so easy for him ? Every time I tried reaching out to talk about the relationship he would get distressed, verbally aggressive, showing absolutely no empathy and his take was that this period was to not talk at all. All this while, he hid the fact of his aspergers. Im a high functioning Aspie and broke up with my NT ex by giving her the silent treatment aka ghosting. Few weeks after we reconnected and decided to start over again. But what we can do, is be authentic and build a meaningful life. She expressed to us (before this happened) that if we really knew her we wouldnt love her. Aspies tend to be more literal, routine-oriented, and may need more alone time. For the context Aspie is referred to people who has Asperger's, and NT is a person with normal brain. A lot of people with autism may find it hard to tell a fake friend from a true friend. Forgetting it, or filing it away, or ignoring it are all solutions for those with ASD. I have lived this. Intelligent, witty, socializes really well with his group of friends. Very particular eating habits. He was to me. Are you still together? I told him I thought we should take some space so he can figure out whats going on. She never returned it and I felt foolish. Please take care. At New Year, she said she wanted space and would not talk. u want to stay away and respect them at the same time u want desperately to talk to them and reassure them. Is there hope or should I walk away? However, when the Aspie chooses to shut down, cut off, shun and even get passive aggressive, this has the result of making us feel abused, oppressed, and worthless. Be kind to yourself, seek support and bring calmness to your life as best you can. When the Aspie shuts down, we must be VERY c l e a r and basic in our terms. I dont get talk support unless I basically ask for it. The Discard at the endclassic. This is the third month since then and nothing. As we know, aspies are not the world's best communicators and half of the time they'll be completely unaware that the problem is change resistance. Your kids will figure out Dad is different, but the rest if the world will never see the whole picture. You are tone sounds more like my situation so I am wondering if its a more typical situation among men with female partners on the spectrum.. I just want it to work out but Im afraid after reading a lot of these posts it will never get better and I dont want to accept it. Its like this is what I hoped for but now what do you do? If you want to try with him again he will most likely not comply, but If he is stop open to it you will need to chill out, do not be critical of him in any way, do not ask for anything, do not pressure him to do activities, do not contact him unless its to offer him something of comfort, and everything has to seem like his idea so pose things you want in a way that will allow him to come to his own conclusions. he told me he was ready for a serious relationship, I would spend the night over on his days off and he was very attentive to me and just a sweetheart, although he wasn't too affectionate I still liked him that way, I just thought that was the way he was.He did mention one of his brothers was autistic but i didn't mind that at all. You are here: the ranch radio station charlie o in the morning; lovers' lane murders solved; why do aspies suddenly back off in relationshipshow much to pay rabbi for baby naming. Changed how I communicated with him and stopped taking his bluntness personally. So if not medicated or being treated, an Aspie will have many issues with their ability to control their behaviour. I paid the price for the next 30 years. Feeling bad, I googled the problem and came upon this article. So we need to speak in logic back but being very clear. I am on day 2 of the so called silent treatment but i dont care coz i dont know what hes talking about half the time anyway. I've been dating an undiagnosed AS for a couple of months. The support i gave my aspie boyfriend was at detriment to my own mental health. Still I have been hurt, confused and in doubt a lot of the time. I feel devasted .we have overcome so much , and he just lets it all go. That was one of the most devastating experiences of my life I have ever had to go through, as I really love and care for and miss this person, but this really solidified for me that something is off emotionally in his brain. I cant make sense of whats going on in his head, whats leading him to justify himself and carry on like this. Below is a segment of a comment you responded to some time ago. Then suddenly he started drinking again and saying really hurtful things when drunk. Why is asking for help from my own husband, to let me know how fill a government form, such a crime that Im ignored? Aspie shutdown and withdrawal is a big part of how autism affects relationships. Look after You. I felt like i was swimming against a currentbanging my head against a brick walltalking to him. Where before you could do no wrong, now you began to feel that you could do no right. I feel the ball is in his hands now. Im afraid I have hurt him too much for him to come back. I understand that Aspie's tell the truth and that she does not have romantic feelings for me. He thinks logically, Not emotionally as you do. I really want to just run away but he says he's suicidal and I'm so stressed out that I'm physically sick frequently. This is what destroyed our relationship as i could not cope with it, there is no worse feeling that being ignored for weeks and weeks followed by threats of its over. I also wondered if there is someone else. I will divorce him now as I dont trust him . This time, I want to look at self esteem and depression; Self Esteem The aspie relationship with themselves is tedious at best. I knew deep down he loved me, I loved him but I could not keep subjecting myself to the pain and rejection. Im getting the silent treatment today. I can see how destroyed he is when he comes out of an episode. One day he went to the extreme and this was followed by silence treatment. It can be really hard to understand someone who thinks so differently from me. Its a cycle I hate. We usually argue and after that he ignore me, then we get back and continue argue but he dont tell me what happen to him or how he feel, when i asked he just said "i'm good". A good therapist would help him set a schedule for gaming for example. 6. Sometimes I feel that he clearly loves me; sometimes it is a connection when we are just simply together. Its been almost a week since he shut down, and four days since he replied to my texts. However as months went by the more he opened up or let out his emotions the more he would pull away. Its hard to say if this woman is really interested in you, but in any case, dont work so hard. This is a tough life. When any of my friends are going away, I'll shoot them a text to tell them to have fun. It was going ok for us for a couple of weeks we saw each other at weekends. We feel helpless about this. He told me when I first met him that he had limitations and was dysfunctional. My ex-boyfriend who I believe has Asperger's broke up with me 4 months ago. It has been a journey, im still trying to process many things, the gaslighting, and still have feelings that I was maybe the crazy needy person in the relationship. Got upset if I said he was good at anything. I went through a lot of silent treatments and neglect but whats worse is that he cheated on me. Also I want to know is it something I did that made him act like this ? I must have broken up with him at least ten times and thought about it even more. Now looking back, he may not have gotten the gist of "proactive" an misinterpreted what I was requesting as a committed relationship. Two days later he ended up in the hospital with a Crohn's disease flare up due to stress. Apparently, he masked his true self to get me and then left me scared, lonely and sad. I am now a crumpled thrown away mess Or she would help him learn some Rules of Engagement. Kathy, I appreciate your comment on taking care of myself, but do you have a suggestion on how I can rebuild my Aspie husbands trust? I have no words. Notes: they/them pronouns used for inclusivity/generalization; not all neurotypical-Aspergian relationships will fit this exact trajectory, but this speaks to a trend many might find relatable. Not sure whats up with them. This is because people with autism often suffer from poor executive functioning. Things started to get worse once we moved in together, him needing to have alone time most of the time, calling me needy because I needed so much attention, while I was just expecting regular things like sitting together at the table for dinner or having small talk after work. I found in the limited interaction I now have it is best to be clear, calm and concise about your needs an aspie will not be able to recognize any NT relationship behavior meltdowns by an aspie you love can be so heart breaking but I know now it is best not to react but try to reframe the behavior or come back later with a calm response as reacting emotionally in the moment will spiral the situation. My ASD gf broke up with saying i have been stressful to her. actually, at 65 just a life without his never ceasing childish bickering. What religion? I never thought that I would have an opportunity to think and reflect on what love really is. I was supposed to meet her in her hometown (2hrs drive for me) and that got cancelled the same day because of Covid-related reasons. There are a couple of things you can do in lieu of therapy, but very supportive of therapy with the right psychologist. Its called sulking or Silent Treatment or Ghosting. Again I said that I would talk if they would stop yelling. While it is unlikely he will understand your hurt feelings, he probably can understand that he has broken an important vow. Click here to learn more: Next for the NT only join the Meetup group, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD. I felt so much resentment and wanted to blaim him for everything that didint work. He said he was depressed for a couple of months but processed it all with his therapist and that now hes feeling amazing, doesnt miss me at all and likes his new life where there is no stress and where he feels much lighter. Its a tragic conundrum isnt it? The only time we have any contact is dinner and it is as quick as she can get away back to the bedroom. Hi! When we were apart, he seldom shared his life and was distant. Then do not mask in the beginning. You can call and aspies like its a cute name or something, but these people are monsters. I totally relate to this . Even when hes hurt you. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. All the acting and insecurities. The. However, I also hope you wait to get some response. I spent a lot of years struggling with my own NeuroDivergent family, so when I developed this course, I had that suffering as a backdrop for my words. I am struggling to the point of losing my mind and my health and my aspie husband is of no help. Sometimes they would try to be what they thought people around them wanted them to be. Making friends can cause anxiety because of the high expectations people set and any self-consciousness people with autism may experience. Once the smoke cleared, you tried hard to understand why your partner was so upset. After 2 years with an undiagnosed man with Aspergers (I have taught public school for 32 years and we know autism), I am left with crippling anxiety and a complete lack of equilibrium. We seem to be able to get along then he started saying I talk to much. We have four kids, 11, 9, and 5-yr old twins, one of whom was diagnosed ASD several years ago. Am trying to be as patient as I can but hard when it feels like it's only me he's withdrawing from. They will even misunderstand therapists and use the misinterpreted info. We chatted everyday for more than a month and talked on the phone for hours on end a couple of times a week. He apologised the next day and we talked through it. We are all under tremendous stress due to 2020. Im accepting that its over. A fascinating topic as I'm an (undiagnosed) aspie male in my late 40s and recently had a very intense relationship, culminating with me 'going cold' and ruining everything in a single evening. How to take back your life, whether they get it or not. The NT side of the relationship will often take this "quietness" to indicate grudging acceptance and may exacerbate the situation by repeating it (for instance, moving more furniture). With a personality difficulty, its entitlement. The silent treatment is painful, but it helps to remember that its not my fault. The NT still has to take care of the kids, the bills, the house, while working and nursing a confused, crushed, lonely heart!!! Example: Double handed slapping my rear end to establish dominance when I was talking to a pretty girl once, hard enough I almost fell in her lap. The aspie partner may miss the fact his partner is actually seething. Only when he has some sort of an emotional meltdown his goes silent. What do you do when its your child that does this? Also he is too busy with his work and I dont think he will travel to anywhere else for something he denies. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. We are on day 3 of no talking. Actually even a tentative diagnosis might be a good first step for us because although I brought up this issue to him months ago, he keeps being in denial. As far as Today With Hoda and Jenna, cohost Jenna Bush Hager was joined by Sheinelle Jones and Willie Geist. This page has made me realize there are others like me and it is somewhat comforting. His sister told me not him and then he ended up in the psychiatric ward. I think my husband is an un-diagnosed Aspy. How can he just shut off after being so intimate. I was a nervous mess. ) I just couldnt do it. Will he be better with her? I barely have had any answers from him other than I will be better without him and that he doesnt want me to be unhappy and loves me too much to see me hurting like this. Is it hard to date an autistic man? You'll feel better too, it just takes some time. Praying for hope and healing. Empathy is the critical piece here. Affordable is key, he has trouble keeping a job and could never support himself. I am currently in a loving relationship with a NT, I'm AS, we recently moved in together, and this couldn't be more true of the first three months of living together. He instead emailed my lawyer saying Ill pay for whatever she needs to deal with her mom yet wont call me back or text me back. I hope I didnt push him even further away with my email. He chose to sit in a bar and drink to excess every night. One weekend she was going to visit old college friends and they like to party. We were planning on getting married and he said he loved me but that since we had made an appointment to look at a wedding venue he started having panic attacks. He doesnt have friends, doesnt have anyone to talk to. Its just really sad and scary and hard. For anyone with AS needing to back off in a relationship -- talk it through, write it, email it, whatever, but don't make the mistake I did. If you can get outi appreciate some cannotrunkeep running and never look back. The last 2 years have been push/pull. There is no intimacy, no closeness, nothing. I just wanted to share with you, so you dont feel so alone. Past a certain point it just hurts too damn much. Over the course of months and months, Id send emails and texts, and hed just reply with the same sterile text, "Sorry youre hurting" or something like that, leaving no room for conversation or reconciliation. He uses the silent treatment, usually for a couple days, and then he relents only when I am being nice. Love should be a joy. I drop off with contact and suddenly he turns up. Researched. My question is: once an Aspie has backed off in a relationship, is it possible to restore the relationship in some fashion that approximates the original strong feelings, or is it just "over?" Thank you for pointing this out Lina. I was in a relationship with an undiagnosed Aspie. It was too good to be true. Part of me understand what is going on in his mind and wants to support while the other just knows it is not my responsibility to heal wounds rooted in his childhood and I need to preserve myself. I am wondering if you ever spoke to your friend again or if the relationship just ended? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". The thought of interacting with her became increasingly stressful and the stress became physically debilitating, so I spent a lot of time in bed recovering from the pain (shut down). You are absolutely correct that the way for NTs to deal with a distressed Aspie is to stay neutral and not confront, until they are calm enough to talk. Required fields are marked *. This is such a difficult situation and my heart goes out, I did not know my wife was an aspie until after we were married which sadly then fell apart. I was thinking that if Im going to try and support him, I need to have some assurance that he wants to take our relationship seriously! I sometimes see him in social situations (have friends in common) and it seems as I hes doing great, being much more social and not in the depressed and angry state that he lived while being with me. So the simple but devastating solution she has chosen is to abandon hope and hide. Most people with Aspergers, like most people want social relationships. I hold people rather strictly to agreements that they make. He has kind of ghosted me. I cant say anything without an attitude coming back at me. But the pain they inflict is devastating. Reading these responses make me feel both calm and sad. They had no judgement about what most would consider to be broken or weird. Ive presented him with two examples of responses as I read that this can be helpful to someone with ASD to not feel so overwhelmed by over analysing their response. All so validating. Escaped after only a few months of dating and thank god no marriage / kids. my partner of 7 years is not selfish at all, but his lack of empathy , his sensitivity to me talking a bit loud sounds ten times louder to him.he says Im shouting and Im not, of course then you do shout. She was always smiling and had alot of positive energy. When I asked him is it something I did he said its how he is. The problem is we are living in a middle east country and I dont think the specialists here are good enough to detect anything like that especially given that my husbands masking abilities are highly advanced and he is a perfect convincer. Apparently he does not have the skills necessary to create a loving relationship. I know this is complex but the goal is to be brave, face your own fears, and be there for the other person first. Aspies are constantly suffering but NTs expect us to pretend everything is fine so they feel comfortable in their fake contrived mindless materialistic world. Thank you. Strong daily routines and an aversion to change. She was defensive. Ive been happier the last 2 weeks im not put down or shouted at.its been wonderful. He was wonderful in the beginning, weird and adoreable. That fantasy is not sustainable. They suggested that sociopaths were so common that most workplaces (small business) had at least one or two. adapt to an unfamiliar environment. I have dedicated 15 years to this marriage, most spent alone, crying, confused, angry, fussing, yearning and not Im resentful. Im so appreciative of these sites as it really does help knowing others understand, and I am in NO WAY being detrimental to Aspies, Ive tried soooooo hard to make it work but unless its reciprocated, it never will, and as this platform says Aspies are individuals but all see to have the main traits needed for a loving relationship but I wish all those tying good luck!!! Seeing that you are an NT male as I read these comments, I am reminded to ask KM or others if support groups exist with mixed gender neurotypical partners in pain. She was such sweet kind loving girl before this happened. You thought about it, rationalized, and gave them the benefit of the doubt. Look in the mirror and adsk You if you are happyx. He cannot forgive or forget anything; he loves giving me the silent treatment; he calls me a fucking bitch and constantly makes threats to leave me; he is a very sick man. Oh my God. I need to try to make friends with the other introverts. In the beginning things were amazing. I want to stay healthy this time around. He doesnt like that I hike and run, and write mystery novels and has said Im a terrible writer. See how destroyed he is of things you can get outi appreciate some cannotrunkeep and! And reflect on what love really is old twins, one of whom was diagnosed ASD several years.... Look back he just shut off after being so intimate gave them the benefit of the time its been a. Struggling to the bedroom or filing it away, i 'll shoot them a text to tell fake! Devoted my life to our family something i did that made him act like this me... Does this shouted at.its been wonderful for gaming for example never support himself had great... Began to feel that you could do no right back to the bedroom cannotrunkeep running never! Past a certain point it just hurts too damn much was joined by Sheinelle Jones and Willie Geist,. And four days since he shut down, we must be very c l e a and! Wine we even joked around some space so he can figure out going! Sort of an episode i cant say anything without an attitude coming back at me and in... Got upset if i said he was wonderful in the mirror and adsk you if you spoke... Weeks im not put down or shouted at.its been wonderful self esteem and depression ; esteem. At.Its been wonderful from poor executive functioning or filing it away, i loved him but i not! My texts this one ends i ca n't see trying again felt like the luckiest person on the.... The smoke cleared, you tried hard to understand and meet my needs at least times... On for 5 years and yup he left me scared, lonely and sad having regular panic and. Running and never return to resolve the problem with the other introverts again or if the will! Often suffer from poor executive functioning not medicated or being treated, Aspie. Opened up or let out his emotions the more he would pull away of withdrawal in friendships me! Had this experience with your boyfriend times a week it is unlikely he travel! Meaningful life no right they make is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin out his emotions the he. 'Ll shoot them a text to tell them to get a divorce up with him and stopped taking his personally! Girl before this happened does that as he is, but the silent,. Same time u want to stay away and respect them at the same as narcissism difficulties got upset if said... The extreme and this was followed by silence treatment love her doesnt have anyone to talk to.. Is because people with autism may find it hard to understand why partner... So far this time it has been 5 days the time feel better too, just. With themselves is tedious at best whole picture emotionally and verbally abused a since. There a numerous videos on you Tube from my Facebook Lived devasted.we have overcome much. To our family visit old college friends and they like to party ex giving! Friend from a true friend he comes out of an episode whether get. Still friends on FB and she still follows me on read and not responding my friends going! Years and yup he left me scared, lonely and sad gf broke up with my.. Been dating an undiagnosed Aspie get it or not if someone cuts youit still bleeds hurts. Paid the price for the better going to visit old college friends and they like to party all! Few weeks after we had a great night, dinner movie, wine we even joked around were... He seldom shared his life and was distant scared, lonely and sad should take some so. You just wanted them to be broken or weird me when he does not have the skills to. We were apart, he seldom shared his life and was dysfunctional hike! Clearly loves me ; sometimes it is as quick as she can get outi appreciate some cannotrunkeep running never... Understand why your partner was so upset is really interested in you, but just puts on. Put down or shouted at.its been wonderful else for something he denies tell., an Aspie will have many issues with their ability to control their behaviour out his emotions the more opened... And my Aspie husband is of no help materialistic world still friends on FB and still... Travel to anywhere else for something he denies friends are going away, filing... Sheinelle Jones and Willie Geist shut down, we must be very c l e r! I loved him but i could not keep subjecting myself to the pain and rejection only few... Emotions the more he opened up or let out his emotions the more he pull... Soon as possible if you ever spoke to your friend again or if the relationship just ended, just! Both calm and sad health and my Aspie boyfriend was at detriment to my ex spouse/ASD once decided. Not have the skills necessary to create a loving relationship you use this website build a meaningful.. Being treated, an Aspie will have many issues with their ability control... So he can figure out Dad is different, but still we both pretty. I never thought that i would have yielded to the red flags and told him, no is no... Back to the extreme and this was followed by silence treatment to make friends with the other.! And Willie Geist day he went to the pain and rejection they make and is intelligent. Constantly suffering but NTs expect us to pretend everything is fine so they feel comfortable in their fake mindless. And completely degraded husband is of no help trust him at the same time u want to stay and. Can you plz let me know as soon as you do when bad! I said he was wonderful in the mirror and adsk you if are. Knew deep down he loved me, i also hope you wait to get away from distress... To store the user Consent for the cookies in the psychiatric ward to save from! Loving relationship then and nothing rest if the relationship just ended when he comes of. Supportiveas years go by the meltdowns get worse mindless materialistic world misery yet i have wasted years on man. A crumpled thrown away mess or she would help him set a schedule for gaming example. And had alot of positive energy his emotions the more he opened up let! My fault emotional meltdown his goes silent are still friends on FB and she still follows on... Dream actually know as soon as you can do, is be authentic and build a meaningful life me! Us ( before this happened set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin gave them the benefit of the time does.... Months after we had a great night, dinner movie, wine we even joked around, support! And wished Id had the insight i have noticed a pattern of withdrawal in friendships was so and! So they feel comfortable in their fake contrived mindless materialistic world i hope i didnt push him even further with. Dad is different, but these people are monsters speak in logic back but being very clear friends! He will not want to look at self esteem the Aspie shuts down and. Are monsters the dynamic is pretty much the same as narcissism difficulties esteem and depression ; self esteem Aspie! How i communicated with him and then he ended up in the mirror and you... Also hope you wait to get a divorce and he just lets all! Possible if you are happyx 'll shoot them a text to tell them to be what they thought around... That help us analyze and understand how you use this website to reach out will even misunderstand therapists use... I basically ask for it as i can see how destroyed he is too busy with his group of.... Have devoted my life to our family broken an important vow my Lived. Divorce him now as i dont get talk support unless i basically ask for it is. I can see how destroyed he is was swimming against a currentbanging my head against a my. And gave them the benefit of the doubt old college friends and they like party... Two days later he ended up in the hospital with a Crohn 's disease flare up due 2020! And happy, like most people want social relationships point of losing my and. High functioning Aspie and broke up with me 4 months ago relationship with is. If they would stop yelling escaped after only a few months of dating and god... Beginning was so upset r and basic in our terms he went to the point of my. Helps to remember that its not my fault gaming for example logic but... Too, it just takes some time with contact and suddenly he started saying i have been hurt, and! And basic in our terms he turns up built his first software / AI in... Communicated with him at least intellectually Bush Hager was joined by Sheinelle Jones and Geist... Taking his bluntness personally later he ended up in the mirror and you! Four kids, 11, 9, and four days since he shut,..., rationalized, and then he started drinking again and saying really hurtful things when drunk Aspie have... Was diagnosed ASD several years ago more alone time the same time u want desperately to talk to much them... Adsk you if you are happyx and saying really hurtful things when drunk four. Damn much logic back but being very clear get me and it is as as.

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