I loved him beyond belief. It took me 48 years to finally go to NC. I let him in my home he changed over night became verbally abusive controlling manipulating . I broke up with him and got back together with him a year and a half later, only to see the old pattern re-surface. I think its a mistake to reconnect. Watch out. It took me awhile to realise that Cameron was a narcissist. The problem is that it can get synced up with the narcissistic abuse cycle so that the level of dopamine in the brain drops when we are not in contact with the narcissist. It is time to heal! Hopeless romantic, he would light candles and have music playing. There are things in you that have become a part of me in some way things that fill a void that had been around for a while regardless of who I was or wasnt dating, things that make me incredibly happy and incredibly confused, things that make me alive. Your ex is hurt by you. 30 days of No Contact are the pivot of embracing the breakup and trying to fix yourself. And, as the mother of two children, my pain doesnt end because now they have to see him by law and I know he is slowly doing his damage to them and they will end up in therapy like all of his other kids. Instead he tried to destroy a familial relationship I held dear and he succeeded in that.. not that he's aware of that. (New approaches dont argue with this, but with the explanation for the behaviour, its underlying cause). Thank you. No i am letting go. I did things again for myself and felt happy, he contact me again. When it comes to the blame game, youre in a loose, loose situation with narcissists. Ignore it. Why so long?? Narcissists will do everything they can. And there is a scared inmature little person who is scared of live and everything in it. Hope that helps. I would not be friends with him the first year after the break up even though he begged. Should I call him, meet with him? I apologize or Im sorry without actions matching for a long time are not true sorries Cling on to your gut which is Get Out!!! That some people say things they dont really mean and have too much pride to admit they messed up badly? Firstly above all. Be careful Eden. Suddenly, all his love for me was gone and he couldnt trust me anymore (which was a joke since he never trusted me even though I never did anything to this man but Narcs never trust anyone because they project themselves onto everyone and know that they are not trustworthy). Im trying hard to remain civil here, I wish there were a way to warn young adults against these predators. I have moved out of town and even changed careers. Knowledge is power and when I confronted him and told him I had figured him out and listed his Narc traits, he was blown away and I actually think that he is afraid of me now. If you will just act like his friend for the sake of his image, then all will be well in his fake world. How is that possible!? Now i have anxiety from this al. 5. And so on. I cannot describe it. As I stated, there was no falling out between us. The next day that dog was gone. The narcissist draws you in close, then does an about-face, and begins to withdraw and verbally abuse you. Im still trying to get over a 10-year thing with a narc woman. it hurt but I am not responding. It has been five months since I last spoke with her, four months since I received a text, and three months since she blocked me from facebook. However, he did do the character assassination and tried to make me look like the crazy one. -Telling their own friends and family white stories (not the whole story) that may also be aggrandized to sound better Excellent writing again. The day after Thanksgiving, the ex calls. Maybe that is part of the problem. Hate that dark weather. If I didnt still have his e-mails I might be inclined to consider his insults to be true. Thank you for this. Hopefully all the skills we need to make us even stronger & all the knowledge we need to ensure that we never ever give away our heart & soul to just anyone who doesnt deserve it and nor will we ever let anyone take from us so much of ourselves. Plus, women are by nature, more seductive then men. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. It got ugly but I loved him so much, I forgave him everytime. Its hard to resist, I know, when they start acting the romantic, but its important to remember its just an act. I waitthen text back you can get it tomorrow at 11 am . I dont want to be back in a relationship with him. But he has taught me the game so now I am always one step ahead of him. Im a widow too and hes the nieghborhood handyman. He is cluster B. 5. He begged and apologized told me itll never happen again and he loves me and wants to come home I fell for it. I was scared, i became sick, lost a lot of my hair and quickly fell away from all social contact with anyone. I feel as though he is masking and hiding behind her to numb the pain of me leaving the marriage. But him at his best is still dysfunctional. Eden, the nerve they have popping in and out and around our lives like nothing is soooo unsettling and weird to the norm, but he is not normal so he would probably in his mind (which we know does not function properly) feel it is ok. That is what sets us apart from them. If you go no contact, its done no ? What confuses me the most is how my ex tries to get me to contact him first before he would, say hallo usually by text. It has actually helped me to come to understand the behaviours of my most recent ex-boyfriend. He told me they have not had sex yet and that their relationship of 7 months started as friends, then best friends then relationship. I left my ex in March because the fights kept escalating and he was becoming increasingly disrespectful. What she did do was lie, manipulate, triangulate relationships, curt me off a handful of times, etc. Theyll try and convince you that your friendship would be perfect, you might not have worked out as lovers, but youd sure make the best of friends. Well, I mulled over giving it to her because I made the mistake of picking up the phone and he tried to brow beat me into it but later, I thought it out.he bought it to replace my freezer which makes it a gift, so no, as much as I love his mother, in fact, it saddens me that she wont end up being my mother in law, I only told her about the freezer when I was unloading my plans to leave, which was a mistake. but unlike nightmares this one you cant wake from !!.. I love this app especially since any number on your blocked list wont go to voicemail. Clears up a lot for many of us who still question how the hell we got into this situation for so long. He had many other female friends he met at the post office, or at the dry cleaners, etc. But I was just holding on that last bit of connection to him by seeing it as some romantic gesture. Oh this makes me so sad to read. Not a friend I want to keep, thank you very much. I knew I loved this person and I felt deep in my heart his sadness and loneliness (so was my understanding.) He wont find better, but I wont be around to find out! I found that in the beginning it was intensely romantic, joyful, fun (i.e. 1. 1. Since this is a discussion related to people with lack of feelings, this type of Narc is irrelevant. Does it transfer to the OW? Mine seemed disinterested and almost pretended they were not there. Ive supported her through so much, mentally, emotionally, financially and she doesnt seem to remember any of it. We were like best friends. That is, if you were in no contact long enough, which is usually a month or two at least. He loved to be the center of attention, monopolizing our conversations, but he was also a great listener. All done to hide who they really are & what they are actually doing to you, PURE EVIL, This is however not about us proclamations of us even though one has made it clear there is no US (dont know if FREEATLAST did too, but noticed same wording in her exs letter), And then there is, of course, his Christian concern that I be relieved of my bitterness and anger (on the surface sounds like good things)but meanwhile not genuinely acknowledging the tragic and deeply wounding things he did to me to cause any bitterness or anger. I have started talking to our daughter about NPD I need to protect her. We do that subconsciously in order to correct the unworthy feelings we had as a child, but only, that never happens with a narcissist. It s like the N just get a little to charming, romantic, a little to in love, acting to helpfull etc.Just always something over the top. So please go no-contact and set yourself free, i am living proof that it works, even 6 months after i felt little sorrow in knowing she was getting engaged. He was a chubby boy with glasses who grew up to be a very handsome man. We analyze to death just to understand. You perfectly described my last relationship of the past 4 years. Thats the last thing anyone needsincluding him! HUGS!!! He replied, you need to move on with your life as I have. Does this sound like N behavior? You pre-emp. Hi Kim ,Ive been with my narcissist for seventeen years two teenagers I have sole custody ,had order of protection ,domestic violence center never helped me I just lost all my marital assets in divorce settlement ,plus I have to pay him off a lot of money that I dont have he just got a huge settlement from his personal injury case ,can you explain to me why the court let the narcissist to get away with all the lies ,I almost lost my custody because I asked for more child support, Im so disappointed with the court system for the last four years Ive been calling all the possible organizations for help all I heard we cant help you you have to hire a lawyer and I did so my ex called my lawyer even when he had his own my question is how bad you have to be hurt by a narcissist to get help from the system, I work part time and I have to pay off a soon to be a millionaire. I need it. We had a very loving relationship, but it didnt stop him from being manipulative and verbally abusive when he felt hurt or angry. The jab at your mental healthis rather nauseating. I have learned SO much. Even someone you only knew a short time can cause years of emotional damage. Donald Trump, Roger Stone, and Associates have a better chance of success. Block them from your phone and emails and anything else. He is aware you are still thinking about him. if you imagine this group like stars in the galaxy the abusers feel like orbiting black holes I have to keep well away from them its exhausting and so I have never felt in the correct mental place to clip into my glider and take off to fly to do that you need to have your mind up there in the clouds free and clear thinking about the birds and feeling only the air you need to be free and I have not been now for more than 6 months and diminished for a year before that, So if this is anything it is an attempt to move forward and try to step further away from what happened and to be honest I really feel I need some support I feel very vulnerable and alone this whole thing has destroyed my sense of community I have no casual social contact with any of the pilots who I know talk a bit together every day I have none of that I see a small group once a week in the pub where we just talk about stuff like normal people its them who admonished me for wanting to ignore this offer and so it was this my last foothold that fell away when I asked for advice normal people simply do not understand the dynamic of NPD explaining it makes you seem like a total nutter, I know I am taking a risk I know that this is common behaviour this coming back it is destabilising a fragile but doggedly tenacious recovery but I also realise its only me who is going to recover no one is going to do it for me and so like in that quote from my book I am doing a thing and shutting my eyes in hope that it will be better somehow. So i was writing everything down only to read back a whole lot of beginnings with the beginnings of another event as the ending! Trust me, on the inside, this woman is an absolute enigma. As with all emotions, it can be used positively or negatively. Im struggling to get closure. I am struggling. He called back repeatedly, sent 17 emails in a 12 hour period. I went through them myself, and also hear about these same Narc behaviors from my clients. Also, while he was here, I told him I couldnt find the remote to my livingroom tv; I wasnt sure I packed it up in his stuff when he left that night but I told him if he happened to come across it, fine. Please don't contact me again. Everything Ive read, everything I know tells me this isnt what I really want but I feel so broken and worthless. He made all my needs his priority. Let him in my heart his sadness and loneliness ( so was my understanding ). 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